Your business deserves
to be built for scale.
We audit your design, architecture, security, and GitHub repo — and tell you exactly when your platform will break before your users find out.
Not a summary. A full senior engineer review.
Not ChatGPT with your URL pasted in. This fetches your live site, reads your GitHub repo, and runs 8 specialist modules in parallel — every finding cited to a file, line, or DOM selector.
Roast
BRUTALLY HONESTA senior-engineer-with-4-coffees paragraph on what's wrong, built for the screenshot. Every claim cites your real copy or DOM — no hallucinated nonsense.
Design & UX
PIXEL-LEVELVisual hierarchy, typography, spacing, color systems, accessibility — critiqued like a senior designer reviewing your portfolio, not a Lighthouse score.
Landing & Conversion
EVIDENCE-BASEDHero clarity · trust signals · CTA strength · mobile UX · SEO — each scored 1–10 with specific evidence pulled from your live page.
Security & Exposed Keys
LAUNCH BLOCKERWe scan your repo for hardcoded API keys, leaked secrets, auth vulnerabilities, SSRF vectors, and OWASP Top 10 issues. If your Stripe key is in a public commit, we’ll find it.
Architecture & Scale
BUILT TO SCALEWe tell you exactly at what user count your platform breaks — database bottlenecks, API limits, infra ceilings — plus a migration path to 10K users.
Customer Flow
CONVERSION LEAKSSignup friction, time-to-value, empty states, onboarding drop-offs, and pricing page abandonment. We map every place you’re losing users.
Growth & Positioning
MARKET-FITYour one-line positioning, true category, real moat, head-to-head competitor teardown, and the alternative customers actually compare you against.
90-Day Roadmap
PASTE-READYRanked fixes with a master prompt + 6 surgical AI prompts (Claude/Cursor-ready). Kill switches, growth unlockers, week-by-week sequence to ship.
Your business deserves
brilliant technology.
Cursor, Bolt, Lovable, Claude — you built something real. Now make it worthy of the users coming your way. We bridge the gap between “it works on my machine” and “it handles 100k concurrent users without breaking a sweat.”
- Landing page that actually converts
- Architecture that doesn’t collapse at scale
- Security posture that survives a launch
- GitHub repo a senior engineer would respect
- Clear 90-day path to growth
Our own R&R-on-R&R audit trajectory — same engine you'd run on your project.
At how many users will your
platform break?
Most founders find out the hard way. We tell you before your launch goes viral and takes down your server.
Every audit traces the exact bottleneck — query patterns, connection pools, rate ceilings — with file:line evidence from your repo.
Under 100 users
SQLite without WAL mode. You're one concurrent write from a locked database.
1,000 – 10,000 users
No connection pooling. Your API server drowns in idle Postgres connections at scale.
10,000 – 100,000 users
No CDN, no edge caching, no rate limiting. One Hacker News post ends your uptime streak.
Most founders discover this the day their server goes down.
Find My Breaking Point →The brutal truth, with receipts.
Sample below is a real audit of supabase.com — 8 specialist modules ran in parallel, every finding cited to file:line or DOM. 2-3 minutes, one-time $19.
↑ Click each tab to see what your $19 unlocks
“You've got a killer product story, but your landing page reads like a feature dump with navigation anxiety. The hero is solid, but you're asking visitors to choose between self-serve and sales without context. That 'State of Startups' banner? Noise. Your nav is bloated—'Product,' 'Developers,' 'Solutions' all point to the same thing. Pick a lane. Developers want to build; enterprises want to talk. Make that obvious.”
Every claim is grounded in the real site or repo. No hallucinated nonsense.
How it compares
The only tool that goes from “your hero is broken” to “here's the copy, the code fix, and the 90-day plan.”
- All 8 modules scored 1–10
- Every finding cites file:line
- Master prompt + 90-day roadmap
- Shareable permanent link
- Landing page only
- No code/repo review
- No AI fix prompts
- No AI prompts
- No shareable report
- No positioning analysis
| Feature | Roast & Rebuild | Roast My LP | Senior Dev Consult |
|---|---|---|---|
| Fetches your live site | |||
| Analyzes your GitHub repo | |||
| 8 specialist modules scored | |||
| Every finding cites file:line evidence | |||
| Architecture + scale ceiling review | |||
| Exposed secret / API key scanning | |||
| Customer flow + onboarding audit | |||
| Master prompt + surgical AI prompts | |||
| Brand positioning analysis | |||
| Competitor teardown (your real rivals) | |||
| 90-day founder roadmap | |||
| Shareable audit + permanent link | |||
| Time to insight | 2-3 min | 90s | 1-2 weeks |
| Price | Free → $199 | $350 | $200-500/hr |
Real founders. Real audits.
Hit play — hear founders walk through their audit in their own words, and the fixes they shipped because of it.
Want your face here? We're still featuring the next handful of founders — record a 60-second video walking through the issues we caught and the fixes you shipped, and your $19 is on us.
Audit My Tech $19 →Refund issued after we receive the video. No script, no editing — just your honest take.
Pick your altitude.
Start free. Buy the audit when you want the full report. Subscribe when you want it to track you. Book the briefing when you want Jake personally.
/roast skill
Audit your repo + live URL via Claude Code
Runs on your own Claude key
- 6-module audit with cited file:line evidence
- Real verifiers: semgrep + gitleaks + dep-audit
- /roast --url adds axe-core + Lighthouse + screenshots
- 30-second install, no signup, no telemetry
- Same Technical Simon Cowell voice as the $19 audit
Full Project Audit
One-time deep audit of your live site
vs. $200+/hr freelance consultant
- All 8 modules + screenshots + Lighthouse
- Brutal roast paragraph + scorecard
- Architecture, security, customer flow
- Competitor teardown (top 3 rivals)
- Copy-paste fix prompts for Claude/Cursor
- 90-day founder roadmap
- $5 re-audits for 7 days after
Founder Co-Pilot
Track your scores over time
Cancel anytime
- Weekly full audit, auto-run
- Email digest with delta vs last audit
- Regression alerts (score drop, finding returned)
- Everything in Full Audit, every week
- Track shipping velocity vs audit scores
Founder Briefing
Async Loom from Jake personally
48-hour turnaround
- Everything in Full Audit, plus:
- 5-8 min async Loom walkthrough from Jake
- Transcribed top-3 action plan
- Direct reply for follow-up questions
- Optional 30-day check-in
Not ready to pay $19?
Get 1 critical finding emailed free.
We'll scan your site and email the single highest-impact issue we find. One minute, no card.
Questions founders ask
Stop guessing why it's not converting.
Get the brutal truth in 2-3 minutes. Copy-paste the fixes. Ship with confidence.
🛡️ Guarantee: 3+ launch-blocking issues or full refund within 7 days.